Religion Gone Crazy

This is a crazy, hilarious, and serious article found on christwire.com:

With Unemployment Benefits Extended, Rates of Domestic Masturbation And Sodomy Are Poised to Skyrocket

The Federal Government offered relief to millions of Americans this week with the passage of the Unemployment Benefits Bill. It was a victory for President Obama and Democratic members of Congress who, with the Gulf Oil spill and the bleak economy, are in desperate need for positive messages to bring back to their home electorates in preparation for the upcoming midterm elections. For Republicans, the main sticking point was the $34 billion pricetag and how it will be funded. In total, The Government Accounting Office estimates that 5 million of the approximately 14.6 million unemployed Americans will benefit from this bill.

One group notably absent from the provisions in this legislation are the young people of this country who are neither on the unemployment rolls nor actively seeking work. Several news reports and anecdotal evidence show that we have a generation of young adults who have simply given up on their job searches until the economy rebounds. They may receive financial assistance from family members or live off savings and credit cards. Estimates are hard to come by, but some experts believe there are between 5 and 10 million 18 to 25-year olds in this position. With consumer confidence at an all time low, few signs of global financial recovery and this trend of 20-something “job-hunting malaise,” some critics fear that the Obama Administration’s policies are only digging us deeper into a recession and much worse.

Traditionally, high rates of unemployment have led to rises in crime across the board– from petty theft to drug abuse and prostitution. Our current crisis, with young educated people being most affected, brings up special concerns for Christian-Americans who have always adhered to solid principles of hard work and family. The incredible blocks of idle time that today’s teens and now 20-somethings have been granted poses a unique problem for our society. A 2004 study conducted in Toronto, Canada found that, “Healthy 21-28 year old males are able to masturbate at least 8-10 times per day if they are not stressed.” Another recent report went even further, stating, “[Masturbation] poses genuine health and spiritual risks, and also threatens workplace safety and the overall productivity of our economy.”

Demographically, masturbation crosses all boundaries. A report first published in Psychology Today did find some interesting characteristics of this trend, however. The March, 2009 article stated that, “White people were the most enthusiastic masturbators. African-Americans, Asian-Americans, and Pacific Islanders reported less masturbation.” Also of note, is that “Previous research has shown that masturbation becomes more likely with increased education” and despite illnesses, “Men who masturbate keep doing it regardless of their health.”

This issue of unemployed and unproductive members of society has resonated strongly in the conservative community. Studies have shown that job searching activity peaks after one year and beyond that, the jobless are far more likely to seek federal and state support for housing, healthcare and other necessities. The worry here is that extending benefits may push today’s crop of unemployed into a permanent place on the welfare rolls. Once citizens have moved into public housing and receive regular money from the government, they are far less likely to ever return as active members of the workforce.

With so many Americans now moving past that point of serious job searching, the rate of masturbation in the United States is set to skyrocket. Mr. Obama’s policies of extending benefits are partly to blame. Also to blame is a culture that does not actively discourage young people from abusing their genitalia. We have enshrined an ethos of arrogance, not humility in our 20-somethings. They believe they are too good to take blue collar or minimum wage jobs because of their college educations. This is clearly evident in the rise of youth subcultures such as the “hipsters” who celebrate the idea that they are financially secure but unemployed. What do these types of people do with their free time? The Toronto study noted:

“Many males masturbate daily, or even more frequently, well into their 20s and sometimes far beyond. This decline is more drastic among females, and more gradual among males. While females aged 13–17 masturbated almost once a day on average (and almost as often as their male peers), adult women only masturbated 8–9 times a month, compared to the 18–22 among men. Adolescent youths report being able to masturbate to ejaculation around six times per day, though some men in older middle age report being hard pressed to ejaculate even once per day.” –via Wikipedia.

Masturbation has often been seen as a gateway to further explorations of the human body. Notorious amongst other experiments are sexual toys, homosexuality and sodomy (see “Sodomy Is Never the Answer” for more information). As a culture we have sunk into even greater perversions with every generation. This sex-obsessed culture will be eerily familiar to those who remember the Biblical story of the adulterous woman Oholibah who could not contain her lust for Assyrian soldiers:

“She became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled.“ –Ezekiel 23: 19-21.

Is masturbation a serious issue today? If you consider that we are standing at the crossroads of perversity and perseverance, between a time when an entire generation could move to the unemployment rolls where they would risk their physical and spiritual health through incessant masturbation and sodomy instead of focusing on innovation, hard work and family-building, then yes masturbation is significant problem for our future as a nation. The Obama Administration seems to side with the masturbators, extending them benefits and discouraging them from careers, pushing them to a place where they may end up in public housing, on public assistance with all the free time in the world to practice self-abuse and further immoral penetrations of the body.

How can we stop this crisis? First, we must do whatever we can to elect public officials who are righteous in the lives and have the intelligence to get us through this downtown. Secondly, we need to be far more vigilant in our communities, conscientious of sexual debauchery in our homes, workplaces and on our streets. As we are reminded in James 1: 14 -15, “But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lusts. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it bring forth death.”

* In addition to the 14.6 million unemployed, the U.S. has 8.6 million semi-employed Americans that the government describes as “involuntary part-time workers” who are on verge of falling into full time unemployment. And when you look at the next age group, children between the ages of 15 and 17, approximately 4.6 of them lack summer jobs.

http://christwire.org/2010/07/with-unemployment-benefits-extended-rates-of-domestic-masturbation-and-sodomy-are-poised-to-skyrocket/

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo.— The Rev. Ted Haggard stood at a pulpit made from stacked buckets one recent Sunday and announced his resurrection.

Mr. Haggard was forced to resign nearly four years ago as president of the politically powerful National Association of Evangelicals and to step down from the megachurch he founded, after admitting that he had bought methamphetamine from, and had a sexual encounter with, a gay prostitute.

Once one of the most prominent church leaders in the U.S., Mr. Haggard confessed in a tortured letter, calling himself “a deceiver and a liar” who had long wrestled with desires he described as “repulsive and dark.” He signed a contract promising to follow a path laid out by fellow clergy: to find a new career in a new state and to stay away from pastoral work.

Then, his wife at his side, Mr. Haggard left town.

He is back now. In a move that thrilled some of his former flock—and alarmed some of his fellow evangelical Christians—Mr. Haggard and his wife Gayle recently launched a new church in their backyard barn, a few miles from the enormous campus of his old congregation.

In two months of preaching with sacks of fence-post concrete at his feet, Mr. Haggard, who is 54 years old, has built a congregation of nearly 200 people. His church, St. James, has outgrown the barn and this Sunday moves to a rented community center.

Ebullient as ever, bouncing with energy, Mr. Haggard said he is back doing what he was born to do.

“Tiger Woods needs to golf. Michael Vick needs to be playing football,” Mr. Haggard said as his new congregation joined him and Gayle in their backyard for a post-worship picnic. Little kids, shrieking with joy, splashed in the pool. Men grilled burgers. Women set out chicken salad.

“Ted Haggard,” Mr. Haggard said, “needs to be leading a church.”

He acknowledged grave lapses of judgment in the episode he refers to as “my crisis.” But Mr. Haggard also said that in his sorrow and shame, he accepted too much guilt after the scandal broke.

“I over-repented,” he said.

In February 2008, Mr. Haggard asked to be released from supervision by other clergy. His former church, New Life, consented, though officials there put out a pointed statement calling Mr. Haggard’s recovery incomplete.

The four pastors who supervised Mr. Haggard wouldn’t comment on his new church. New Life pointed to an earlier statement, released in November 2008, that said, “we cannot endorse his return to vocational ministry.”

Mr. Haggard said that is ridiculous. He portrays his encounter with the prostitute as a massage that went awry and said he doesn’t have same-sex attractions. He dismisses as a “witch hunt” the findings of his former church that he engaged in a pattern of misconduct, including sordid talk and inappropriate relationships. (He said his only fault was cracking a few crude jokes.) But his assurances have raised some eyebrows.

“I’m still skeptical that the whole sorry story has come out in full,” said Tim Morgan, an editor at the evangelical magazine Christianity Today.

Others fear the pressures of leading a congregation will grind down any defenses Mr. Haggard may have built up against temptation.

“We become enamored with our own successes,” said Larry Magnuson, who counsels pastors in crisis at SonScape Retreats, outside Colorado Springs. “We fall back into the same traps. We are masters of self-deception.”

Mr. Haggard, who said he draws a weekly salary of $300 from St. James, said he founded the church as an act of humble repentance, because it forces him continually to confront his sin.

“If I was arrogant, I would have gotten a job in a farm bureau co-op somewhere in Iowa, changed my name and never been heard from again,” he said.

Friends say Mr. Haggard has matured

wsj.com

A CHARISMATIC terror leader linked to the botched Times Square car bomb has placed the Seattle cartoonist who launched “Everybody Draw Muhammed Day” on an execution hit list.

Yemeni-American cleric Anwar al-Awlaki – the radical who has also been cited as inspiring the Fort Hood, Tex., massacre and the plot by two New Jersey men to kill U.S. soldiers – singled out artist Molly Norris as a “prime target,” saying her “proper abode is hellfire.”

FBI officials have notified Norris and warned her they consider it a “very serious threat.”

In an English-language Al Qaeda magazine that calls itself “Inspire,” Awlaki damns Norris and eight others for “blasphemous caricatures” of the Prophet Muhammed. The other cartoonists, authors and journalists in Awlaki’s cross hairs are Swedish, Dutch and British citizens.

The 67-page terror rag is seen by terrorism experts as a bald new attempt to reach and recruit Muslim youth in the West.

“The medicine prescribed by the Messenger of Allah is the execution of those involved,” writes Awlaki, 39, a Las Cruces, N.M.-born American citizen.

“A soul that is so debased, as to enjoy the ridicule of the Messenger of Allah, the mercy to mankind; a soul that is so ungrateful towards its lord that it defames the Prophet of the religion Allah has chosen for his creation does not deserve life, does not deserve to breathe the air.”

Awlaki’s rant first appeared late last month in “Inspire,” which was posted to the Internet by Al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula, a Yemeni branch linked to a Christmas Day bombing attempt on a U.S.-bound jet.

Initially, only three Web pages were accessible, leading to speculation it might be fake. But yesterday, the full edition was posted on jihadist Web forums, according to SITE Intelligence Group.

David Gomez, the FBI’s assistant special agent in charge of counterterrorism in Seattle, said Norris and others were warned of the “very serious threat.”

“We understand the absolute seriousness of a threat from an Al Qaeda-inspired magazine and are attempting to do everything in our power to assist the individuals on that list to effectively protect themselves and change their behavior to make themselves less of a target,” Gomez said.

Norris initially grabbed headlines in April when she published a satirical cartoon on her Web site that declared May 20 “Everybody Draw Muhammed Day” as a way to mock Viacom and Comedy Central’s decision to censor an episode of “South Park” that showed the Prophet Muhammed dressed in a bear suit.

Soon after, the topic erupted on the Web with the start of a Facebook support group for Norris. In response, Pakistan blocked access to the social networking site as a fiery pro-and-con debate raged worldwide.

Norris eventually backed away from her cartoon and cause.

“I regret that I made my cartoon the way I made it,” she told the Seattle-based KING 5 TV.

Norris’ neighbor said yesterday he’s noticed an increased police presence on the street lined with modest Craftsman-style homes. No one answered the door at her home, where a blue baby swing hung from a tree outside.

Most of the “Inspire” entries are regurgitations of widely available jihadi propaganda, including translated speeches from Osama Bin Laden and tutorials on how to “Make a bomb in the kitchen of your Mom.” Still, experts say the goal is clear: to reach a young, impressionable audience.

“It’s like Al Qaeda’s Tiger Beat,” said one senior U.S. counterterrorism official.

The Institute for Creation Research Graduate School filed suit over the Texas Higher Education Coordinating Board’s decision to deny the ICR’s request for a state certificate of authority to offer a master’s degree in science education. The complaint, filed on April 16, 2009, in the United States District Court for the Northern District of Texas, named Raymund Paredes, the Texas Commissioner of Higher Education, and the Texas Higher Education Coordinating Board and its members as defendants, in both their official and individual capacities, accusing them of imposing “an unconstitutional and prejudicial burden against ICRGS’s academic freedom and religious liberties” (p. 63) and asking the court for declarative and injunctive relief.

As NCSE’s Glenn Branch explained in Reports of the NCSE, “When the Institute for Creation Research moved its headquarters from Santee, California, to Dallas, Texas, in June 2007, it expected to be able to continue offering a master’s degree in science education from its graduate school. … But the state’s scientific and educational leaders voiced their opposition, and at its April 24, 2008, meeting, the Texas Higher Education Coordination Board unanimously voted to deny the ICR’s request for a state certificate of authority to offer the degree.” Subsequently, the ICR appealed the decision, while also taking its case to the court of public opinion with a series of press releases and advertisements in Texas newspapers.

Although the ICR continues to pursue its appeal, the complaint explains that the ICR deemed it necessary to file the lawsuit now because “(a) waiting a couple months [sic] to do so would miss the Statute of Limitations deadline; and (b) SOAH [the State Office of Administrative Hearings] has insufficient jurisdiction to remedy or otherwise resolve all of the serious legal problems involved” (p. 14). (Unmentioned in the complaint is Texas’s House Bill 2800, introduced in the Texas House of Representatives on March 9, 2009, which would, if enacted, in effect exempt institutions such as the ICR’s graduate school from Texas’s regulations governing degree-granting institutions. The bill is still in the House Higher Education committee.)

The sixty-seven-page complaint teems with various factual claims and legal arguments, leading a blogger for the Dallas Observer (April 20, 2009) to quip that it “reads kind of like stereo instructions.” It also teems with unabashed creationist rhetoric, citing articles from the ICR’s publication Acts & Facts along with case law, explaining that Paredes — born as he was in 1942 — was not a witness to the Big Bang, asserting that discussions about the origin of life and the formation of the earth “do not become ‘empirical science’ simply because those discussions emit from the oral cavities of ’scientists’” (p. 33), and insisting that the Big Bang “should not be confused with the ‘great noise’ mentioned in 2nd Peter 3:10″ (p. 21).

ncse.com

Jacox Elementary 5th grade teacher has resigned

NORFOLK, Va. (WAVY) – A Norfolk  teacher has resigned after it was discovered she was rubbing “holy oil” on students and their desks during school, a Norfolk Public Schools spokesperson said.

The fifth-grade teacher worked at Jacox Elementary School . Administrators said they learned about the teacher’s behavior after it was reported by a parent.

Interim Superintendent of Schools, Michael Spencer, sent a memo on Wednesday to members of the School Board:

“In early June, a parent reported that a fifth-grade teacher at Jacox Elementary School allegedly was using inappropriate religious practices in her classroom. I interviewed the teacher, and the Office of Pupil Personnel conducted an investigation.  The teacher admitted that she had rubbed ‘holy oil’ on students and their desks during the school day. She was immediately removed from the classroom, and she resigned as of June 30.”

Norfolk Public Schools provides teachers with training on acceptable classroom behavior and practices, according to Norfolk school’s public information officer Karen Tanner. She said the teacher violated school policy when she anointed her students.

wavy.com

OREGON CITY – A Beavercreek couple who left their infant daughter’s fate to God rather than seek medical treatment for a mass that grew over her left eye will face charges of first-degree criminal mistreatment.

Prosecutors revealed Thursday during a custody hearing that a grand jury has indicted Timothy and Rebecca Wyland, members of Oregon City’s Followers of Christ church.

The Wylands’ 7-month-old daughter, Alayna, was placed in state custody earlier this month after child-welfare workers received a tip about the untreated and ballooning growth. Doctors said that the condition could cause permanent damage or loss of vision.

The Wylands were indicted within the past few days and probably will be arraigned next week, said Colleen Gilmartin, the deputy district attorney handling the custody case in juvenile court.

Under Oregon law, it is a crime for parents to intentionally and knowingly withhold necessary and adequate medical attention from their children. First-degree criminal mistreatment is a Class C felony punishable by up to five years in prison.

The Wylands and their church reject medical care in favor of faith-healing — anointing with oil, laying on of hands, prayer and fasting. The parents testified at a juvenile court hearing last week that they never considered getting medical attention for Alayna.

According to court documents, Rebecca Wyland anointed Alayna with oil each time she changed the girl’s diaper and wiped away the yellow discharge that seeped daily from the baby’s left eye.

Thursday’s hearing was procedural and reached no resolution.

The Wylands’ attorneys, John Neidig  and Thurl Stalnaker Jr., offered a plan they said would guarantee the child would receive medical care recommended by doctors, with options such as regular visits from state workers, having a trusted individual occupy the Wyland home and monitoring the family with Skype, an Internet program used for video conferencing.

Attorney Michael Clancy, who represents Alayna, also urged that the girl be sent home.

Clancy, however, was skeptical that prosecutors or child-protection authorities would accept any plan to quickly reunite the family.

“There is no plan, even if we came up with 100 pages of stuff … that is going to be satisfactory,” he said.

Clackamas County Circuit Judge Douglas Van Dyk noted that doctors treating Alayna haven’t reviewed the Wylands’ plan and said he wouldn’t approve the proposal without hearing from the physicians.

But Van Dyk also said Alayna should be returned home once a plan is in place “that makes the community feel secure about the care.”

He told all the attorneys to submit their proposals to him next week and said he would work out a suitable agreement at a July 30 hearing.

“That’s where this case is going as far as this judge is concerned,” Van Dyk said.

Timothy Wyland, 44, and Rebecca Wyland, 23, arrive Thursday for a hearing in Oregon City over custody of their daughter, 7-month-old Alayna.

There could be a complication.

Prosecutors said that a child usually is not returned to parents accused of criminal mistreatment. It is not clear whether the district attorney’s office will seek a no-contact order or if one would be granted.

Gilmartin, doctors and DHS workers want assurances that Alayna will get treatment that will minimize damage to her eye and address any complications that arise.

Alayna had a small mark over her left eye at birth.

The area started swelling, and the fast-growing mass of blood vessels, known as a hemangioma, eventually caused her eye to swell shut and pushed the eyeball down and outward and started eroding the eye socket bone around the eye.

It’s rare to see a child with an advanced hemangioma because the condition typically is treated as soon as it’s detected, said a doctor who testified at a hearing before Van Dyk last week.

“They never get this large,” said Dr. Thomas Valvano, a pediatrician at Doernbecher Children’s Hospital. “This was medical neglect.”

Investigators who interviewed the Wylands noted the grotesque swelling that led DHS to act.

“Alayna’s left eyeball was completely obstructed, and you could not see any of it. The growth was multiple shades of red and maroon and appeared to me to be between the size of a golf ball and a tennis ball,” said Clackamas County Detective Christie Fryett in a search warrant affidavit that included pictures of the growth on Alayna’s face.

Alayna is the Wylands’ only child.

Timothy Wyland was a widower when he married Rebecca Wyland two years ago.

Wyland’s first wife, Monique, died of breast cancer in 2006. She had not sought or received medical treatment for the condition, said Dr. Christopher Young, a deputy state medical examiner who signed the death certificate.

oregonlive.com

Insane funny man and Southern Pastor Kenneth Hagin throws the Holy Ghost into the minds of his crazy followers. Watch as they feel the “Ghost” glide through them like a bowl of California Bud causing crazy laughter and dancing!

(click image for full view)

More than 40 per cent of Americans believe Jesus Christ will return to Earth by 2050, according to a poll.