Christwire says: With Unemployment Benefits Extended, Rates of Domestic Masturbation And Sodomy Are Poised to Skyrocket
This is a crazy, hilarious, and serious article found on christwire.com. Some of the most noteworthy crazy comments from the Author:
Traditionally, high rates of unemployment have led to rises in crime across the board– from petty theft to drug abuse and prostitution. Our current crisis, with young educated people being most affected, brings up special concerns for Christian-Americans who have always adhered to solid principles of hard work and family. The incredible blocks of idle time that today’s teens and now 20-somethings have been granted poses a unique problem for our society. A 2004 study conducted in Toronto, Canada found that, “Healthy 21-28 year old males are able to masturbate at least 8-10 times per day if they are not stressed.” Another recent report went even further, stating, “[Masturbation] poses genuine health and spiritual risks, and also threatens workplace safety and the overall productivity of our economy.”
And this:
Demographically, masturbation crosses all boundaries. A report first published in Psychology Today did find some interesting characteristics of this trend, however. The March, 2009 article stated that, “White people were the most enthusiastic masturbators. African-Americans, Asian-Americans, and Pacific Islanders reported less masturbation.” Also of note, is that “Previous research has shown that masturbation becomes more likely with increased education” and despite illnesses, “Men who masturbate keep doing it regardless of their health.”
Unemployment is up. It may be a good time to “stimulate” the economy by buying mass quantities of self-lubricant?
Crazy Christians be afraid, be very afraid. Could this be the coming of the Rapture?
With so many Americans now moving past that point of serious job searching, the rate of masturbation in the United States is set to skyrocket. Mr. Obama’s policies of extending benefits are partly to blame. Also to blame is a culture that does not actively discourage young people from abusing their genitalia. We have enshrined an ethos of arrogance, not humility in our 20-somethings. They believe they are too good to take blue collar or minimum wage jobs because of their college educations. This is clearly evident in the rise of youth subcultures such as the “hipsters” who celebrate the idea that they are financially secure but unemployed. What do these types of people do with their free time? The Toronto study noted:
“Many males masturbate daily, or even more frequently, well into their 20s and sometimes far beyond. This decline is more drastic among females, and more gradual among males. While females aged 13–17 masturbated almost once a day on average (and almost as often as their male peers), adult women only masturbated 8–9 times a month, compared to the 18–22 among men. Adolescent youths report being able to masturbate to ejaculation around six times per day, though some men in older middle age report being hard pressed to ejaculate even once per day.” –via Wikipedia.
But wait, it gets worse! It’s a gateway to further exploration of your body says Christwire! Oh the shame!
Masturbation has often been seen as a gateway to further explorations of the human body. Notorious amongst other experiments are sexual toys, homosexuality and sodomy (see “Sodomy Is Never the Answer” for more information). As a culture we have sunk into even greater perversions with every generation. This sex-obsessed culture will be eerily familiar to those who remember the Biblical story of the adulterous woman Oholibah who could not contain her lust for Assyrian soldiers:
“She became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled.“ –Ezekiel 23: 19-21.
Our President Obama is a masturbator! Our country is going straight to hell!
….we are standing at the crossroads of perversity and perseverance, between a time when an entire generation could move to the unemployment rolls where they would risk their physical and spiritual health through incessant masturbation and sodomy instead of focusing on innovation, hard work and family-building, then yes masturbation is significant problem for our future as a nation. The Obama Administration seems to side with the masturbators, extending them benefits and discouraging them from careers, pushing them to a place where they may end up in public housing, on public assistance with all the free time in the world to practice self-abuse and further immoral penetrations of the body.
This is a major crisis, forget getting prepared for the Rapture, the masturbation crisis must be stopped!!
How can we stop this crisis? First, we must do whatever we can to elect public officials who are righteous in the lives and have the intelligence to get us through this downtown. Secondly, we need to be far more vigilant in our communities, conscientious of sexual debauchery in our homes, workplaces and on our streets. As we are reminded in James 1: 14 -15, “But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lusts. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it bring forth death.”
Wait are your kids doing any of these things? They’re Masturbators!!!! Oh No, you’re failing as a Conservative Christian parent! Repent now!
* In addition to the 14.6 million unemployed, the U.S. has 8.6 million semi-employed Americans that the government describes as “involuntary part-time workers” who are on verge of falling into full time unemployment. And when you look at the next age group, children between the ages of 15 and 17, approximately 4.6 of them lack summer jobs.
To see the post in its entirety:
http://christwire.org/2010/07/with-unemployment-benefits-extended-rates-of-domestic-masturbation-and-sodomy-are-poised-to-skyrocket/
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