Crazy Quotes
(these quotes are unedited)
On Crazy God and Children
The most merciful thing an omnicient God might do is end the life of a child whom he knows will never seek Him.
-Pastor Doug Humphrey from his twitter account
Crazy Deoxyribonucleic Acid
Everyone knows scientists insist on using complex terminology to make it harder for True Christians to refute their claims. Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example….sounds impressive, right? But have you ever seen what happens if you put something in acid? It dissolves! If we had all this acid in our cells, we’d all dissolve! So much for the Theory of Evolution, Check MATE!
Taken from: Christianforums.com
The Two Crazy Witnesses
About early in the year 2000, I was a active member of the LDS church, and attended the temple often. I study and read the scriptures often, and I prayed to learn the truth of many things. Because of an experience when I was about twenty I knew the Lord could and would answer prayers directly. So I did ask many questions to know the truth of all things. Many things I was taught was true, though from time to time the spirit of God would not confirm certain things which I had thought were true.
I have had many experiences, though I think I will share this one of when the Lord told to me that I was one of the two witnesses. If you are a studier of scriptures, then you know that God will make his will known by two or more witnesses. This was no different, for I and a friend whom I wont name at this time was on a business trip back to Colorado. When we were traveling we were doing much praying and reading of the scriptures. I was driving my friend was reading.
He opened the scriptures and was reading from the book of Revelation. He read chapter by chapter and came to chapter 11. When he started reading it, the spirit swept through the truck and we both knew some new knowledge and were both crying as the spirit was so strong. We were both told that I was one of the two witnesses. Both I and he received this knowledge, though since then this friend of mine has gone another direction.
After this happened, seeking not to want to be this person, I prayed often to know if what I heard was correct. Each time I asked, the spirit of the Lord came upon me. If it was true, I was not going to disobey, but I hoped it was not true.
Taken from: thefirstborn.org
Brain Dead
What does a functioning brain have to do with the Bible?
Apple Computer is Godless!
However, these propagandists aren’t just targeting the young. Take for example Apple Computers, makers of the popular Macintosh line of computers. The real operating system hiding under the newest version of the Macintosh operating system (MacOS X) is called… Darwin! That’s right, new Macs are based on Darwinism! While they currently don’t advertise this fact to consumers, it is well known among the computer elite, who are mostly Atheists and Pagans. Furthermore, the Darwin OS is released under an “Open Source” license, which is just another name for Communism. They try to hide all of this under a facade of shiny, “lickable” buttons, but the truth has finally come out: Apple Computers promote Godless Darwinism and Communism.
- Dr. Richard Paley
Taken from: objectiveministries.org
Jesus as Executioner
And as for these enemies of mine who didn’t want me to be their king–bring them in and execute them right here in front of me. – Jesus (Luke 19:27)
Taken from: The Bible
Everyone is born a Christian
No, everyone is born Christian. Only later in life do people choose to stray from Jesus and worship satan instead. Atheists have the greatest “cover” of all, they insist they believe in no god yet most polls done and the latest research indicates that they are actually a different sect of Muslims.
Monkeys Die Young
Several million years for a monkey to turn into a man. oh wait thats right. monkeys dont live several million years.
Bible Contradictions
To say the Bible was written by men and may contain inaccuracies completely contradicts the word of the Bible.
Girlfriend’s Gay Porn
I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don’t think he’s ready to date yet. What’s worse is that he’s sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!
King Kong Satan
Apes are just creatures twisted by Satan to mock Jesus by giving EVILolition credibility. Further more they are naturally lust crazed for human women. Since they are not natural creatures they should be exterminated forthwith as the tools of evil they are.
Arresting Faggots
If you call yourself a person of God and refuse to help arrest faggots, you belie yourself and prove you do not belong to the God who is committed to burning faggots.
If you refuse to help arrest faggots, you really should expect to be left behind when God comes to collect His people.
Help Yourself Please!
[about a girl being born with mental disabilities]
This girl is like a leper so what she needs to do is try and find god
if she really believes she can be healed from this state, she will be healed from this state
Most afflictions like this are caused by sins committed while still inside the womb. If she can repent for what she does god will embrace her and make her as human as you or me but if she chooses not to she’ll always be like this
god tests every one of us [emphasis added]
The Earth Is Not Round, Duh!!
“In the modern world it has become a widely spread lie that the earth is round. Of course, this is impossible. If the earth is round, then why don’t people just fall off at the bottom?”
Taken from: landoverbaptist.net
The Decay of Logic
One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn’t possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it.
The Bible is Science!
i am a christian and i love finding science in the bible, and its full of science. there is no “magic” in the bible anywhere. and alot of atheists know there are things beyond the physical world, like my best friend he knows his grandpa still walks around his grandmas house and hes dead and my friend is atheist and he says evolution isnt true either. you people misread the bible and really annoy me lol there is so much science in there, i laugh at you people saying its all “magic”
Taken from: massmayhem12 on Youtube.com
Bad Navigation Screws the Woman!
“a man’s navigational system is God & His word. if a woman is not following a man that follows God they both are lost”
Taken from: Kirk Franklin on Facebook.com
Don’t Dis The Ark Theme Park
This is a CHRISTIAN NATION if you hooked nosed kikes dont like it then get the hell out. If it were up to me we would have camp agin for you Christ Killing piles of human sh*t. You things are like acid on society you constantly corrode it with your porn, affirmative action, civil rights, fake funny money federal reserve, being totally morally bankrupt,yourselves all of you together are less than pile of dog sh*t. Like CHRIST SAID John 8:44 you are of your father the devil, you are not of God. I will be so glad when you tares are pulled up from among us THE WHEAT and cast alive into hell………..GOOD RIDDANCE .
REV. 2:9 – REV. 3:9 CHRIST TALKING you call yourselves jews but do lie and are of the synagogue of satan…………………..you disgusting pice of scum!!!!!!!!!
Charles L. Moss
Taken from: Email reaction from religious lunatic in response to the view that the new upcoming Ark Theme park being built in Kentucky is crazy and dumb.
Unicorns Are Real, It Says So Right In The Bible!
Some people claim the Bible is a book of fairy tales because it mentions unicorns. However, the biblical unicorn was a real animal, not an imaginary creature.
Modern readers have trouble with the Bible’s unicorns because we forget that a single-horned feature is not uncommon on God’s menu for animal design. (Consider the rhinoceros and narwhal.) The Bible describes unicorns skipping like calves (Psalm 29:6), traveling like bullocks, and bleeding when they die (Isaiah 34:7). The presence of a very strong horn on this powerful, independent-minded creature is intended to make readers think of strength.
The absence of a unicorn in the modern world should not cause us to doubt its past existence. (Think of the dodo bird. It does not exist today, but we do not doubt that it existed in the past.). Eighteenth century reports from southern Africa described rock drawings and eyewitness accounts of fierce, single-horned, equine-like animals. One such report describes “a single horn, directly in front, about as long as one’s arm, and at the base about as thick . . . . [It] had a sharp point; it was not attached to the bone of the forehead, but fixed only in the skin.”
To think of the biblical unicorn as a fantasy animal is to demean God’s Word, which is true in every detail.
Taken From: Answers In Genesis
Real Proof God Exists
The tides go in, the tides go out. The sun goes up, the sun comes down. There’s no miss communication.
Bill O’Reilly
Hey, Apes Don’t Turn into People Right Before Your Eyes!
I did not come from an ape. U dont see apes turnin into ppl these days so why did it happen then and how? Wen nobody was lookin an ape decided to become wise? If u think u came from an ape i laugh. Anyway Science cant prove anything either. Everything that happens on this earth is too perfect. It did not create itself. If U believe that then u are even more lost than u assume we are. Because at least we know our purpose and we know what to expect after life. But u search ur whole life for a purpose and u wont find one.
There is only one purpose and its to be God’s child and bring more and more ppl to him.
And more craziness…
And holy spirit is very very sensitive. U ppl dont know what ur missing out on.
he is the one who eases your pain and sorrow. o my goodness i just wish u could experience it.
These ppl are so so happy. You laugh at this but u should cry bcuz u have never felt such happiness in ur life. U never felt a love as great as God’s.
Comment from ilovevanichka on our YouTube Channel
Yo, Yo, Yo, The Characters Were Once This But Ended Up Being That
I also read the Bible for the first time. It was deep! I liked the parts where some character was once this, but he ended up being that. Like he’d be dissing Jesus, and then he ends up being a saint. That was cool.
Lil Wayne after reading the Bible for the first time
Mr. Civilized L. Ron Hubbard
L. Ron Hubbard is so exceedingly valuable to every Caucasian person on this Earth. L. Ron Hubbard himself was and is trying to civilize white people and make them better human beings and take away from them their reactive minds. … Mr. Hubbard recognized that his people have to be civilized.
Louis Farrakhan
Big Government = Less God
I’ve said it often and I believe it – the bigger government gets, the smaller God gets. As people become more dependent on government, less dependent on God.
Senator Jim DeMint
Man is the only life form with a heart, lungs, and kidneys
If people die when hearts, kidneys and livers fail, then how did anyone live while those organs “evolved?” The obvious answer is that they didn’t. Man began as he is today.
Rocky Ramsey
Get On Your Knees!
“Right now, America is in crisis: we have been besieged by financial debt, terrorism, and a multitude of natural disasters. As a nation, we must come together and call upon Jesus to guide us through unprecedented struggles, and thank Him for the blessings of freedom we so richly enjoy… there is hope for America … and we will find it on our knees.”
Texas Governor Rick Perry
God Made the Earth Picture Perfect from Space Just For The Crazy Religious
“They say there’s no atheists in foxholes, but there’s probably no atheists in rockets,”
Catholic astronaut Col. Mike Good, who believes his faith in God was solidified by the awe-inspiring views he saw from space
An Asteroid? How is that even Possible? You’re Millions of Years Off!
It’s impossible for a couple of reasons for an asteroid to kill them [dinosaurs], because the asteroid, they say, was millions of years ago. The earth isn’t millions of years old. And second, they’ve lived with man, as is very very evident.
Creationist Eric Hovind saying he has disproven the K-T meteor theory of dinosaur extinction
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